Hello and welcome to The Happya Life Podcast, where we talk about navigating life beyond just surviving because, let’s be honest, survival mode is exhausting. I’m Clare, your host, positive psychology coach, and the woman who has been through enough storms to know that there is always a way through. And if you’re here today because you’re feeling emotionally overwhelmed, first off, big hug. You are not broken. You are not failing. You are human, and you’re in the right place.

Now, let’s take a breath together. Just a slow, deep inhale… and exhale. No rush, just us here, in this moment.

I know some of you listening might have felt overwhelmed before you even opened your eyes this morning. That heavy feeling in your chest, like there’s a weight pressing down, making even the smallest tasks feel impossible. And maybe you’re thinking, “This is just how I am, I can’t cope like everyone else.” But let me stop you right there because overwhelm is not a personality trait, and it’s definitely not a life sentence.

So today, we’re not rushing. We’re not forcing solutions. We’re slowing things down. We’re going to talk about why overwhelm happens, what’s actually going on in your brain and body, and most importantly, what you can do right now to steady yourself.

Before we get into it, I just want to say, if at any point this feels like too much, pause. Take a breath. Come back to it later if you need to. There’s no pressure here.

And if you’re thinking, “I need more help with this,” I’ve got you. Book a free discovery call with me at happyacoach.com/discovery-call, or if talking feels like too much, drop me an email at [your email] and I’ll send you some resources.

Alright, let’s take this step by step.

So first things first, let’s bust a myth. Overwhelm isn’t just about having a lot on your plate. If that were the case, we’d all be walking around in a permanent state of meltdown. Overwhelm happens when your brain perceives more than it can handle, and your nervous system goes into overdrive.

Let’s put it this way. Have you ever opened a cupboard, knowing full well it’s overflowing, and as soon as you try to grab one thing, everything comes crashing down? That’s your brain on overwhelm.

And it doesn’t even have to be something big. One minute you’re fine, the next, someone asks what you want for dinner and suddenly you’re questioning all your life choices.

Here’s what’s actually happening inside your body. Your amygdala, the brain’s alarm system, is scanning for danger and suddenly goes, “Oh no, this is too much!” Your stress hormones, cortisol and adrenaline, flood your system, getting you ready to fight, flee, or freeze. Your prefrontal cortex, the rational, decision-making part of your brain, basically throws its hands up and checks out.

That’s why even small decisions, like whether to reply to that text or ignore it forever, feel impossible. You’re not failing. Your brain is just overloaded. And the thing is, it’s not just about stress. It’s about perceived stress. Two people can have the same workload, but one might feel totally fine while the other is overwhelmed. Why? Because overwhelm isn’t just about what’s happening, it’s about what our brain thinks is happening.

So, what do we do about it?

When overwhelm hits, your first job isn’t to figure everything out. It’s to bring your nervous system back to a place where you can think clearly. Think of it like rebooting a frozen laptop, except the laptop is your brain, and the reboot button is self-care. And not just bubble baths, I mean the real, practical kind.

Let’s start with something simple. Wherever you are, take a moment to look around you. I want you to name five things you can see. Now, name four things you can touch. Three things you can hear. Two things you can smell. And one thing you can taste, or imagine tasting.

I know it might sound simple, but trust me, it works. Your brain can’t be panicking about the future while it’s focused on finding five things around you.

Now let’s talk about breathing. Not just any breathing, box breathing. Imagine drawing a box in your mind as you breathe in for four seconds, hold for four seconds, breathe out for four seconds, and hold for four seconds again. And repeat. If it’s good enough for Navy SEALs to stay calm under pressure, it’s good enough for us on a Tuesday morning meltdown.

And another trick? Cold water. Yep, something as simple as splashing your face with cold water or holding an ice cube in your hand can send a message to your nervous system that you’re safe. It sounds ridiculous, but it works.

Once your nervous system is a bit calmer, let’s talk about how you’re speaking to yourself. Because overwhelm isn’t just about what’s happening externally, it’s about how we’re processing it internally.

When we’re overwhelmed, our thoughts tend to sound like, “I can’t do this.” “Everything is too much.” “I’m failing.”

If your best friend came to you saying that, you wouldn’t just agree with them and walk away, right? You’d reassure them. So why do we talk to ourselves like this?

Instead of saying, “I can’t do this,” try saying, “I don’t have to do it all at once.” Instead of, “This is too much,” try, “I’m taking it one step at a time.” Instead of, “I’m failing,” try, “I’m figuring things out, and that’s enough.”

Your words matter. The way you talk to yourself makes all the difference.

Overwhelm can make you feel like you’re drowning, but I want you to remember, you are not broken, and this feeling is temporary. Right now, your job isn’t to fix everything, it’s to steady yourself. One moment at a time.

If this episode resonated with you, and you’re thinking, “Okay, but I still need help figuring out what to do next,” let’s talk. Book a free discovery call with me at happyacoach.com/discovery-call. I can help you unpack what’s going on and give you a plan forward. Or, if a call feels like too much, drop me an email at clare@happyacoach.com, and I’ll send over some resources.

And if you know someone who might need this episode, please share it with them. You never know who’s struggling in silence.

Until next time, take care of yourself. You deserve it.