Hello and welcome to The Happya Life Podcast. I’m Clare Deacon, positive psychology expert, trauma-informed coach, and your guide through the messy middle of healing, growth, and everything in between.

This podcast is where we talk honestly about what it means to move beyond survival to live fully, intentionally, and with compassion, especially when life has been a bit of a storm. And if you’ve been riding those storms, feeling like the energy to keep going is just… gone? You’re not alone. And today’s episode is for you.

Because today we’re talking about motivation or more specifically, what happens when you can’t find it.

You know those moments where you just feel flat? You’ve got things to do, ideas to follow, even dreams that still matter to you… but no fuel in the tank. Nothing sparks.

Maybe you’re saying things like:

“I just can’t be bothered.”
 “I used to be so driven. What happened to me?”
 “Why can’t I just get on with it?”

If you’re mentally exhausted, emotionally drained, creatively burnt out, or just completely done, this episode is your invitation to stop trying to push through… and start understanding what’s actually going on inside your system.

Because here’s the thing: your lack of motivation? It’s not laziness.
It’s not lack of willpower. It’s not you falling behind.

It’s your nervous system doing its job.

See, when you’ve been under stress for a long time, holding things together, working through big emotional shifts, or simply managing life at full tilt, your body doesn’t know it’s time to thrive. It still thinks it’s time to survive.

And when your system is in that survival state, the parts of your brain responsible for planning, creativity, and forward-thinking go offline. You literally lose access to the part of yourself that wants to act.

This is why motivation doesn’t come when you shout at yourself to “just get on with it.”

Motivation isn’t about discipline. It’s about energy, safety, and meaning.
And when you’re mentally exhausted, those are the things that need tending first.

So let’s pause the pressure for a moment.
 Let’s ditch the “just push through” approach. Because you don’t need more guilt,  you need permission.

Rest, real, intentional, nervous-system-calming rest, is not indulgent. It’s not procrastination. It’s not weakness.

It’s productive. It’s strategic.
 It is the foundation from which motivation can return.

You can’t override exhaustion. But you can meet it with curiosity. With care. With a willingness to listen to what your body is asking for.

That’s the starting point. Not more effort. But more understanding.

So, let’s talk about what it actually looks like to rekindle motivation when you’re running on empty. Not in a Pinterest-perfect way. In a real-life, real-nervous-system, real-woman kind of way.

Start by shrinking the goal.

Motivation doesn’t arrive before we act. It tends to come after when we take even the tiniest step forward.

In psychology, we call this activation energy it’s the minimum effort required to get a reaction started. And the good news? It doesn’t need to be big.

So don’t aim to write the report. Just open the document.
 Don’t aim to do the workout. Just put on your trainers.
 Don’t aim to fix everything. Just begin somewhere, small.

That tiny shift tells your brain: “We’re safe. We’re capable. We can start.”

Big goals and vision boards feel irrelevant when you’re burnt out.
So instead, bring it down to something simpler. More human.

Ask:

“What would feel meaningful for me today?”
 “What version of me am I trying to support right now?”

The nervous system responds to meaning. Purpose doesn’t need to be loud, it just needs to feel true. A small, aligned action can do more to restore motivation than a massive, misaligned one.

Regulate before you try to act.

This one is huge.

When you’re dysregulated, when your system is still in fight, flight, freeze or fawn, the part of your brain responsible for action and choice is literally offline.

This isn’t mindset. This is neuroscience.

So instead of trying to do something from a place of stress, pause.

→ Try some breathwork.
 → Ground your feet.
 → Place a hand on your chest.
 → Step outside.
 → Or just acknowledge: “I’m in survival mode right now and that’s okay.”

Calm the system first. Then take action. That’s how we make space for motivation to come back online.

Check in with your Four Pillars of Wellbeing.

This is where the Happya Survival Kit comes in, because your motivation isn’t just a mindset issue. It’s a wellbeing issue.

Ask:

• 🧠 Mentally: am I overstimulated, overwhelmed, or in need of clarity?
• 💓 Emotionally: am I holding something unprocessed that needs space or expression?
• 💪 Physically: have I moved? Eaten? Rested?
• 🤝 Socially: do I need to talk to someone… or do I need to retreat and reset?

The absence of motivation is often a sign that one of these needs attention. And when we meet the need, the energy follows.

And finally, celebrate the micro-movements.

Because your nervous system is always learning. Every time you follow through on even the tiniest task even if it’s just showing up to listen to this episode, you’re reinforcing a new truth:

“I can trust myself.”
 “I am showing up, even when it’s hard.”
 “I don’t need to do it all, I just need to do what I can.”

This is how we rebuild motivation that lasts. Not through force. Through self-respect.

If today’s episode has resonated, and you’re realising that what you really need is a personalised way to maintain your wellbeing, not another routine to keep up with, then the Happya Survival Kit is for you.

It’s not a list of things to do. It’s a guide to help you figure out what actually works for you, based on your needs, your nervous system, and your capacity, especially when you’re depleted.

You can find the link in the show notes or just send me a message. I always love hearing what’s landing.

So here’s what I want to leave you with:

You don’t need to be “motivated” to begin again.
You just need a way back to yourself.

One breath. One step. One small act of care at a time.

You’re not behind. You’re rebuilding. And that matters more than you know.

If this episode supported you in any way, I’d love to hear from you. Share it with someone who might need it, or reach out and tell me what resonated. These are the conversations that help us all feel a little less alone.

Until next time, take good care of you.
💛 Clare x