Hello, and welcome back to The Happya Life Podcast. I’m Clare Deacon, trauma-informed positive psychology coach, therapist, and a recovering over-doer who once thought that rest was just... lazy. Sound familiar?

If you’re someone who’s been taught that hustle equals worth, that doing more means being more valuable, then you’re not alone. And today, we’re going to turn that story on its head.

Because here’s the truth: Rest isn’t a reward. It’s a requirement.

In this episode, we’re unpacking why rest is the most underrated productivity hack, how overworking is often a trauma response, and how to finally embrace ease, without guilt, without shame, and without feeling like you’ve dropped the ball.

So, whether you're tuning in on your morning walk, taking a breather between Zoom calls, or miracle of miracles lying down for a proper rest, this one’s for you.

Let’s be honest for a moment: we are not just tired, we are soul tired. And it’s not because we’re doing too little; it’s because we’re doing too much, with too little space to breathe.

You ever notice how we glorify exhaustion like it's a trophy? “Busy” has become a badge of honour. It’s like we’ve collectively agreed that if you’re not running yourself into the ground, you must not be trying hard enough. Somewhere along the way, we internalised this belief that rest is only okay once everything is done. And let’s be honest, everything is never done.

The never-ending to-do list? That’s not a productivity tool. That’s a recipe for burnout. If you’ve found yourself constantly snappy, wired but tired, or staring at a screen with your brain screaming for a nap, it might not be about willpower. It might be about rest.

Let’s get deeper.

Overworking isn’t always about ambition. Sometimes, it’s about survival.

Many of us learned to stay busy as a way to avoid discomfort. To outrun the anxiety. To prove we’re good enough. If you grew up in chaos, in criticism, in environments where your worth was tied to what you did, then of course rest feels foreign. Unsafe, even.

Being still? That might have meant being vulnerable. Being unproductive? That might have meant being unlovable. So you learned to keep going. To keep doing. To keep proving.

I know this because I’ve lived it. After my husband passed away, evenings became the hardest part of the day. The moment the house was quiet and the kids were asleep, it should have been time to rest. But I couldn’t. I would find another job to do, another drawer to organise, another distraction. Because if I stopped, the grief might catch up. The wheels might come off. I had to be ready. I had to keep going. And honestly? It was one of the first signs that I was living in hypervigilance. It was a symptom of PTSD.

That coping mechanism? It helped me survive. But it also blocked my healing. And maybe you recognise that pattern in yourself too.

Let’s get nerdy for a minute. Because this isn’t just about feelings, it’s about facts.

Neuroscience tells us that rest isn’t passive. It’s productive. Our brains need downtime to process information, form memories, make decisions, and be creative.

You know those moments when your best ideas come in the shower or right before sleep? That’s not a fluke. That’s your brain finally getting the space it needs to connect the dots.

Rest also helps regulate our nervous system. When we’re constantly in "go" mode, we stay in a state of hyperarousal. That’s fight-or-flight. It floods our body with stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline, and long-term? That leads to burnout, anxiety, poor sleep, and even chronic illness.

Rest brings us back to rest and digest. It allows our parasympathetic nervous system to do its job: healing, repairing, restoring.

So yeah, rest isn’t a luxury. It’s biology.

Let’s pause for a second and really sit with this: What if rest is part of the work?

We tend to define productivity as output. As doing more. But what if we redefined it as doing what matters and doing it well?

You can’t do that when you’re running on empty.

Think of it like this: You wouldn’t expect your phone to work without charging it. So why expect yourself to?

When we honour our need for rest, we work smarter. We show up better. We create more impact with less effort.

And more importantly, we stop tying our worth to our output. We start living, not just functioning.

Okay, let’s talk practical steps. Because I know “just rest” sounds great in theory. But how?

1. Schedule rest like it matters because it does.
Block time in your calendar. Not just to collapse after everything’s done, but proactively. Morning walks. Afternoon lie-downs. Digital detox evenings. Protect it like a meeting with your most important client because it is. That client is you.

2. Notice the guilt and get curious.
If rest feels wrong, don’t ignore that. Explore it. Whose voice is telling you you’re lazy? What old beliefs are at play? Often, what we feel in the moment is an echo from the past. You’re not lazy. You’re learning a new way of being.

3. Start small.
Rest doesn’t have to be a weekend away. It can be a 5-minute breather. A mindful tea break. A moment to sit and stare out the window without doing.

4. Celebrate rest.
Talk about it. Normalise it. Model it. Let others see you value rest as much as hustle. That’s how we change culture.

5. Ask yourself: What would ease look like today?
Make it a daily check-in. Not, “What do I need to push through?” but, “Where can I soften? Where can I pause?”

If you're unsure what recharges, reenergises or reinvigorates you check out the Happya Survival Kit Course. It’s foundational to achieving a happier, more fulfilling life. You’ll find the link in the show notes, or you can reach out to me directly.

WHEN REST FEELS IMPOSSIBLE

Let’s acknowledge something important sometimes rest doesn’t just feel difficult, it feels impossible.

If you’re listening and thinking, “There’s no way I can afford to rest right now,” I hear you. Maybe you're a caregiver. A single parent. An entrepreneur. Maybe you're holding up everyone else's world and feel like if you stop, it’ll all fall apart.

But here’s the truth: You can’t pour from an empty cup. You can’t lead from burnout. And you don’t have to earn your rest through suffering.

You’re allowed to rest because you exist. Not because you’ve finished the list.

CLOSING INVITATION

So, what if the most powerful thing you do this week… is nothing?

What if the needle moves not because you pushed harder, but because you paused longer?

What if the secret to success wasn’t more hustle but more healing?

If that’s the kind of productivity you want more of, the kind that feels aligned, energised, and sustainable, then you’re in the right place. And you don’t have to do it alone.

You can always book a free chat with me at happyacoach.com/chat. Let’s talk about how rest can be your revolution.

Until next time, rest well, and remember: You don’t need to do more to be more. You’re already enough.