psychology coach, trauma-informed therapist, founder of Happya and a real person who’s walked the messy path from surviving to consciously steering my life.

So let me ask: have you ever looked ahead and wondered where you are in all of this? You’ve been showing up, ticking boxes, doing what needs to be done but deep inside, something feels missing. A longing for clarity. A sense of disconnection from yourself. A whisper saying: “Is this really it?”

When life’s felt like survival, shaped by grief, burnout, over-giving, or just trying to hold it together, the concept of “manifesting your dream life” can feel… distant. Or even irritating. Because you're not looking for short term feel good. You want something that actually works. Something practical. Something real. Meaningless affirmations or vision boards plastered with abundance and unstoppable sayings aren’t going to cut it when your body is exhausted and your mind is screaming for clarity. What you want, what you need, is something more grounded. More real. Something that actually works. 

Here’s the foundation: manifesting is not about wishful thinking. It’s about conscious creation. It's about working with your brain, your body, and your values to move forward, gently, intentionally, and without pretending everything’s fine.

Because let’s be honest: you’re not looking for fluffy affirmations or vision boards plastered with words like “abundance” when your body is exhausted and your mind is screaming for clarity. What you want, what you need, is something more grounded. More real.

So today, I want to talk about the science and the soul of manifesting a future you genuinely want. Not through toxic positivity. Not by pretending everything is fine. But by learning how to work with your brain, your body, and your deepest values to take intentional action that moves you forward.

And also not by scaring yourself. We hear a lot about “feel the fear and do it anyway.” And yes, discomfort is often part of growth. But there’s a difference between healthy challenge and pushing your nervous system into complete overload. If you're already operating in survival mode, hypervigilant, anxious, running on empty, then forcing yourself to take giant leaps will likely lead to burnout, not transformation. We need to be gentle with our pace. Respect the capacity of our body and mind. You don’t need to crash through the fear. You need to walk beside it, with compassion.

Let’s pause for a moment. When you think about the life you want… what comes up?

Is it clarity? Peace? A career that feels aligned? Relationships that feel reciprocal and nourishing? The ability to rest without guilt? To laugh more? To feel like yourself again?

Now notice, what voice comes up after that?

Is it: “But that’s not realistic”? “Maybe one day, when things settle down…” “I don’t even know what I want anymore.” “I’ve tried before, and nothing changed.”

If that’s what you’re hearing, I see you. And I get it. Because manifesting your future requires more than just deciding what you want. It requires believing it’s possible. And for so many women I work with, intelligent, capable, high-functioning women, that’s the hardest part.

When life has knocked you sideways, through loss, divorce, burnout, disappointment, chronic stress, your brain adapts. It becomes wired not for expansion, but for protection. And so even dreaming, even visualising what you truly desire, can feel unsafe. It lights up the part of your nervous system that says: “Don’t go there. Don’t get your hopes up. Stay small. Stay safe.”

This is where positive psychology becomes such a powerful tool. Because it doesn’t bypass pain. It doesn’t ask you to pretend. It works with what’s true, with what’s here, and helps you build something meaningful from it. It invites you to connect with your strengths, your values, your sense of purpose. And from there, you begin to create momentum. Intentionally.

So let’s reframe manifestation. Not as a mystical process, but as a practical one. Because here’s what the science tells us:

When you visualise a goal with detail and emotional resonance, your brain starts to build a map. The reticular activating system, the part of your brain that filters information begins scanning for evidence and opportunity that aligns with that goal. It starts to notice patterns, open loops, potential actions. And when paired with intentional action, this isn’t just visualisation, it’s strategic alignment.

You’re literally training your brain to believe in possibility again.

But, and this is the piece most people miss, if your nervous system still believes you’re under threat, no amount of goal-setting will stick. Because your energy is still being routed to survival, not creation. That’s why any manifestation work that ignores regulation is incomplete.

So step one is always grounding. Creating safety. Regulating your nervous system so you can receive new possibilities without panicking or sabotaging them.

That might look like breathwork. Somatic practices. Connection. Therapy. Or simply reminding yourself: “I am safe in this moment. I can choose differently now.”

Then we build the vision. But not in the way Instagram tells you to. We don’t start with the surface, the house, the money, the external success. We start with the feeling. How do you want to feel in your life?

Clear? Energised? Valued? Inspired? Grounded?

Because those feelings become your compass. They inform the actions you take, the boundaries you set, the choices you make. You don’t have to have a five-year plan, you just need to be honest about what you no longer want to tolerate, and what you’re willing to move towards.

That’s what I do at Happya. I don’t over-promise sparkly dreams. I don’t try to sell you a fantasy life that feels a million miles away. I focus on the next step. No matter your starting point. It’s about grounded growth, not perfection. It’s about forward movement, in your time and in your way.

And I want to tell you a story, something that really captures this.

A few years ago, I sat at my desk and thought, “I’d love the opportunity to write a book.” I wanted to get my message out to more people. To create something accessible. Something anyone could pick up and say, “This helps.”

But instantly, that little voice crept in: “You? Write a book? Never.” I’d been told from a very young age that I wasn’t good at English. I even won a prize once, a book, for “effort in English.” But what I heard wasn’t praise. I was six years old, and all I felt was, “I’m rubbish at this, and they’re trying to make me feel better.”

Still, I wrote “Write a book” on a post it note and stuck it on my wall. I’d see it and smile, maybe one day. Sometimes, I’d glance at it and think, “Who are you kidding?” But I left it there.

Then, one day, someone asked if I’d write a chapter in a collaborative book. And instead of shutting it down, I said yes. It felt manageable. A test. A way to explore.

And that changed everything. Suddenly, it felt possible. I started seeing other women publishing books, and I thought, “If they can do it, so can I.” That book I co-authored led to my solo book, Blooming Happya.

And now, that little “effort in English” book, the one I received at six, sits proudly on my shelf next to the books I’ve published. Was that manifestation? Was it the universe? Maybe. Or maybe I just opened the door by believing, just a little, and taking one step.

So here’s your invitation.

Take sometime this week to visualise a day in your ideal future. Not a fantasy, a grounded vision. Where are you waking up? How do you feel in your body? What’s around you? What brings you energy?

Then ask yourself: what is one small, intentional action I could take today that moves me in that direction?

It doesn’t have to be big. It could be saying no to something that drains you. It could be opening a notebook and writing a dream down. It could be booking a chat. Planting a seed.

And if you’re thinking, “This is what I need, but I can’t do it alone,” you don’t have to. That’s why the Happya community exists. Not just to listen. To walk beside you. To help you move from coping to creating, in a way that feels safe, supported, and real.

So, let’s recap.

Manifesting your future isn’t about dreaming big and leaping blindly. It’s about choosing small, aligned actions, day by day, that honour who you are and where you’re going. It’s about rooting in safety before stretching into possibility. It’s about letting go of what’s no longer yours, and reclaiming what always was.

And it’s possible. Not because the world suddenly changes but because you begin to move differently through it.

You don’t need a vision board. You need a vision that’s yours. And the courage to believe you’re allowed to move toward it.

I’m so glad you’re here.

Until next time, take care of you.

💛 Clare x