Welcome back to The Happya Life. I’m Clare Deacon trauma-informed therapist, positive psychology coach, and founder of Happya and today, as the year draws to a close, I want us to have a different conversation.
 A softer one.
 A more honest one.
 One that doesn’t demand resolutions or reinvention or “new year, new me” energy.
 One that simply meets you where you are gently and truthfully.

Because the end of the year has a way of stirring things up.
 It brings reflection.
 It brings emotion.
 It brings grief and gratitude and longing and tiredness and hope sometimes all at once.

And for so many women I work with women who are healing, rebuilding, unlearning, becoming the end of the year can feel like standing between two worlds:

The world you’ve survived…
 and the world you’re longing to step into.

So if you’re feeling a little reflective, a little emotional, a little tender or maybe even a little numb this episode is for you.
 We’re going to breathe together.
 We’re going to honour the year you’ve lived through.
 And we’re going to talk about what it means to move beyond survival not perfectly, not dramatically, but gently and intentionally.

Let’s just take a breath to settle ourselves first.

Wherever you are… soften your jaw.
 Let your shoulders drop.
 Feel your breath enter and leave your body.
 You’re here.
 You made it to this moment.
 And that is enough.

I want to start by saying something very simple but very important:

You made it.

Maybe not in the way you imagined.
 Maybe not with everything you hoped for.
 Maybe not with your heart intact or your energy full.
 Maybe you limped or crawled or cried your way through parts of this year.
 Maybe you broke open.
 Maybe you rebuilt.
 Maybe you survived something you didn’t think you could.

But you made it.

And that deserves to be recognised.

This year asked a lot from you.
 Some of you walked through heartbreak.
 Some of you navigated endings you didn’t choose.
 Some of you carried grief quiet, invisible grief that didn’t get named but lived in your body all the same.
 Some of you held the weight of being strong for everyone else.
 Some of you started healing patterns that once felt impossible to face.
 Some of you rebuilt your sense of self from the ground up.

And maybe if we’re being honest some of you are still in the middle of that rebuilding.

That’s okay.

You don’t have to arrive before the year ends.
 You don’t have to have clarity or confidence or a five-step plan for next year.
 You don’t have to be “healed.”
 You just have to be here.

This is the moment to see yourself truly see yourself.
 Not just the things you didn’t do.
 Not just the goals you didn’t reach.
 But everything you carried.
 Everything you released.
 Everything you learned.
 Everything you became, even if it was quiet.

This time of year can feel confronting especially if you’ve spent a long time in survival mode.

Survival is sacred.
 It’s what kept you going.
 It’s what protected you.
 It’s what helped you endure.
 It’s what carried you through the hardest moments of your life.

But there comes a moment and maybe this is that moment when surviving isn’t enough anymore.
 When there’s a whisper inside you saying:

“I want more than coping.”
 “I want more than holding it all together.”
 “I want to feel alive again.”
 “I want a life that feels like mine.”

That whisper is the beginning of hope.
 Not the big, cinematic hope that lifts you out of bed with magical motivation.
 But the gentle hope that says:

“I think I’m ready to choose myself again.”

Inside happya there are resources and programmes to support you with you, your self worth, your identity. In the POWER RESET this is the exact transition we explore.
 The shift from living in survival mode to rebuilding an identity that feels grounded, truthful, aligned, and worthy.
 The shift from being everything for everyone else… to finally becoming who you are.

Because survival isn’t your final form.
 It’s your foundation.

And hope hope is what grows from that foundation.

Hope doesn’t erase the pain.
 It doesn’t tidy up the past.
 It doesn’t pretend things were easier than they were.
 Hope simply says:

“You can feel pain and still move forward.”
 “You can grieve and still grow.”
 “You can be healing and still be becoming.”

Let’s pause again.
 Take a slow breath in.
 And when you exhale, imagine releasing a tiny fraction of the pressure you’ve been holding.

You don’t need to become a different person next year.
 You don’t need to force transformation.
 You don’t need to punish yourself into progress.
 You just need to notice where the real you is trying to come through.

Let’s talk honestly about what moving beyond survival actually looks like because it’s not glamorous and it’s not instant.

Moving beyond survival looks like speaking your truth instead of swallowing it.
 It looks like resting before you collapse.
 It looks like saying no without over-explaining.
 It looks like honouring your limits, even when guilt whispers in your ear.
 It looks like grieving the version of you who had to be strong for so long.
 It looks like letting softness be a sign of strength, not weakness.
 It looks like realising you don’t want to live the same year again not because it was wrong, but because it wasn’t you.

Moving beyond survival is identity work.
 It’s nervous system work.
 It’s self-worth work.
 It’s the slow, gentle reclaiming of your voice, your needs, your space, your truth.

And yes it’s work that can feel both hopeful and heartbreaking at the same time.

You might be closing out this year with grief in your chest.
 Grief for what didn’t happen.
 Grief for what you lost.
 Grief for the life you imagined that didn’t unfold the way you hoped.
 Grief for the parts of yourself you abandoned to survive.

And that grief doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong.
 It means you’re honest.
 It means you’re human.
 It means you’re ready for something deeper something more aligned, more intentional, more you.

Let me ask you something and answer it gently:

What did you survive this year?

Maybe it was a breakup.
 Maybe it was burnout.
 Maybe it was loneliness.
 Maybe it was a difficult parent.
 Maybe it was the visibility of speaking your truth.
 Maybe it was a job that drained you.
 Maybe it was your own self-doubt.
 Maybe it was the grief that still surprises you in quiet moments.
 Maybe you survived a version of yourself that was built on coping, not choosing.

And what did you learn?

What did you release?
 Even if it was tiny.
 Even if it was silent.
 Even if no one else saw it.

Maybe you learned how to rest.
 Maybe you learned how to say no.
 Maybe you learned how to listen to your body.
 Maybe you learned how to stop fixing everyone else.
 Maybe you learned how to be with your feelings instead of running from them.
 Maybe you learned how to sit with discomfort without abandoning yourself.
 Maybe you learned that you are stronger, wiser, and softer than you realised.

That’s growth.
 Even if it was messy.
 Even if it was slow.
 Even if it wasn’t pretty.

And growth is what’s going to carry you forward.

One of my favourite end-of-year reflections is this question:

“What version of me is trying to emerge?”

Because every year especially the hard ones shape us.
 They peel back layers.
 They reveal truths.
 They make you more honest about what you want and what you’re done tolerating.

And maybe if you’re brave enough to admit it you’re ready to build a life that feels like home.

Not a life that impresses others.
 Not a life that meets expectations.
 Not a life that fits you five years ago.
 A life that honours who you’re becoming now.

Try this sometime this week:
 Light a candle.
 Sit with a warm drink.
 Take a breath.
 Put pen to paper and write:

“What would it mean to build a life that feels like home to me?”

Let your answers come slowly.
 Let them be imperfect.
 Let them reveal parts of you you haven’t met in a while.

You don’t need to wait until you feel “ready.”
 You don’t need to wait for confidence or certainty or approval.
 You can begin from exactly where you are tender, hopeful, exhausted, curious.

This is what the POWER RESET is all about not performance, but becoming.
 Not fixing yourself, but finding yourself.
 Not reinventing, but remembering.

And if this episode stirred something in you if something inside whispered, “I want that… I want to become again… I want my life to feel like mine…” then I want to offer you support in a way that feels gentle and grounded.

If you’re ready for a real conversation about your year, your identity, your hope, your next chapter book a complimentary chat with me. It’s not a formal call. It’s not pressured. It’s a space where we talk honestly about what you’re carrying and what’s possible for you next.

And if you’re not ready for that that’s completely okay.
 You can begin with the free guide: Where Did YOU Go? A Self-Reconnection Map.
It’s designed for moments exactly like this moments of reflection, identity shifts, gentle beginnings, and coming home to yourself.

The link is in the show notes.

Thank you for journeying with me this year.
 For every breath you took when it felt impossible.
 For every truth you whispered into the darkness.
 For every moment you chose healing, even when survival felt easier.
 For every time you got back up or simply allowed yourself to rest.

You’re part of something bigger now.
 A community.
 A movement.
 A quiet rebellion against disappearing.

You’re not just surviving.
 You’re becoming.
 Slowly. Softly. Powerfully.

I’ll see you in the new year where we begin again, gently and intentionally.

Until then, breathe.
 Be incredibly proud of yourself.
 And remember:

You’re not behind.
 You’re becoming.
 And that… truly… is extraordinary.